tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63179283232495899172024-03-13T07:16:58.318-07:00My Kennedy's StoryA look into my life and my little ones life...... Raising a transgender child.Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-83375201177275307942013-10-16T22:07:00.001-07:002013-10-16T22:07:15.644-07:00A look back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This was our trip to New York and Kennedy had recently transitioned. He fell in love with this city, at such a young age, I thought that was interesting! He now has room done in a New York theme, pics to come soon! </div>
<br />Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-10192859412636776222013-02-02T13:19:00.003-08:002013-02-02T13:21:50.470-08:00"Mom you know how I have a Girl side and a Boy side!"So I find a few darling toys at a resale shop for my niece and couldn't help but snatch up these treasures and bring them home. I call up my sis in-law tell her of this find! I found a Barbie train and Barbie plane, they still make them but these were kinda retro and and I was so excited to see they had all the tiny acessories, including the little tray cart that goes down the aisle. I bring home my treasures and set them on the kitchen table, shortly after Kennedy comes home from school. He goes right to the toys and ask "mom, why did ya get these?" I told him I found them at a resale for his cousin. He looked a little disappointed and then asked me if he could talk to me in the garage....(my hubby his step dad was on the couch) he wanted to tell me "something in private" he said as he opened the door. I went into the garage thinking something went wrong at school or that he was upset w Sean, my husband. He told me and I quote "mom, you know how I have a girl side, and a boy side". "Yes" I replied. "Well I think my girl side wants to play with those toys!" I then explained that it was okay for him to play with those toys, and it wasin't uncommon for boys to want to play with "girl type" toys and some times girls like to play with "boy type" toys. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell mommy how you feel and I want you to know this means you.....simply like toys that are fun, girl side / boys side no matter what side you are a kid and you like to pretend that's all!
He then went on to inform me that we don't have any Barbies to go in the plane and train and he wouldn't mind if I bought a few.....you know so he can put them in them. "I want boys and girls" I agreed that would make pretending fun! He said well I don't want to keep this stuff in my room because I really don't want anyone to know, I explained that I sometimes want things of mine to be private and that would be just fine!
You should have seen his face of pure JOY! He then said that he also "kinda wants a baby so he can play daddy with it". I was a little taken back a bit I must admit, but said sure buddy! He then quickly said "I want to pretend I'm his dad". I let him know he didn't need to explain and he can play with anything he wants, playing with toys doesn't make you a girl, nor does it make you a boy...it simply makes you a child that like to play. This seemed to comfort him and he gave me a hug and thanked me for understanding. Funny thing is, the last thing I want him to think is that he needs to be a boy or to be masculine enough to prove he is one. I don't want him to confuse the way he feels about being male yet wanting to do things that are typical girl behavior. He is free to be a girl if he wants and I actually mentioned that. He quickly corrected me and said "no mom I still want to play the dad part!"
I think it is important that we try to unlabel things and I know there is always "gender majorities" and I do understand the boys type / girls type of behavior, although as a parent of any child, trans, gay, straight, etc I encourage you to mesh those boundaries and let your child simply experience life!
Let you son play with dolls, let your daughter buy the dump truck!!
I asked Kennedy why he want to tell me in private and he said "I don't want Sean knowing I like these toys, that's my man card" he got that from him!! BOYS!!!
Thanks for listening!
Candice Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-68500872041393119772012-12-12T18:42:00.000-08:002013-01-14T14:37:08.799-08:00Kennedy has come into his own and thriving!Kennedy has really started to do so well in school. He also has a lot more confidence, and so many friends. He does live stealth, meaning not everyone knows he is transgender. But we feel this is best at his age, as he gets older we will figure out if we will com out or keep it a secret. He has been able to make the honor roll for two straight years in school!
I am very happy to say we haven't had any major issues lately. We have just been living a normal life and he feels like a regular boy. This was a goal so I am so happy that he just feels so comfortable in his own skin! I want all to know if you need help or guidance of any sort please reach out to me or a group, there are many online and it will make it a lot easier when you talk with others that are in the same circumstance as you! Hope to help, and live, laugh, love!
Candice Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-50695462397706310512012-01-10T13:02:00.000-08:002012-01-10T13:31:24.501-08:00Thank You!!To all of the recent comments and people who care about my child. I want you all to know that it means the world to me that you take the time to read my blog. Many of you care for my little Kennedy so much. It feels so good to know a world filled with people like you. I know it will always be hard for many to understand...heck it was for me too! I know his road may be an up hill battle, but I know its one worth climbing!! The song that I posted on my blog "The Climb" it reminds me of Kennedys climb to become who he is. How there will always be another mountain...but he will over come each one. With loving support from me my husband his sister as well as all of you out there who care! Thank you so much! I only hope the world becomes a little more accepting of differences...to each there own I always say! <br />May Kennedy grow up to be a happy person...a happy Man!<br /><br />CandiceCandicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-88228501144273699922011-04-27T19:32:00.000-07:002012-01-10T13:37:16.278-08:00A Picture Book MomentSo my oldest daughter, Madison had a sleep over with 6 girls all 12 years...GOD help me Right? Madison decided she wanted to go through an old photo album with her friends to show all her cute little pictures of the younger years. As soon as she got it out she realized when all the girls pointed to an old picture of Kennedy about 2 years old at the time and said "wow you looked like Kennedy when you were young!" I got up and and took hold of the book, squeezed into the middle of the crowd and said "hold on let me show you the book and tell you some stories". I honestly just need to keep Kennedy's true identity a secret. I know that it isn't time to out him quit yet. The pictures were going to show Kennedy at older ages. This would have defiantly made it clear that it wasn't Madison in these pictures, just Kennedy with long hair! Madison really wanted to show all her pictures and was upset that she had to hide so many pages. We only showed the ones that her by herself or her and me and luckily I had a few dedicated to just her alone. We were able to share the album and put it away. As I did this Madison and I looked at one another and burst into tears. I know it was the emotion of not being able to share her life, having a life that has restrictions. First thing she said when we left to go to the other room was, "Mom, I know I shouldn't cry, Kennedy has it a lot worse than me... about secrets...I have no reason to feel this". I immediately held her (crying myself) at let her know that it does hurt sometimes. It hurts to hide from the world. It hurts to hide Kennedy and who he is. It hurts to hide our loving family. Madison wanted to go out and tell all the girls why she was upset and the truth about Kennedy. I let her know the repercussions of doing that. Possibly Loosing all her friends, not because THEY don't understand but because their PARENTS might not! I also let her know its not time for Kennedy, he is still so young. I would like him to be much older before we let the new school know. He has to be old enough to understand any back lash he may receive. It hard to think of that. How old is old enough to understand a concept like that? Really?? I am still not sure if we will ever come out. We may live stealth for the rest of his school life and only be out to close friends and family like we are now. That decision is still undecided. <br />We held one another and had a cry, a short one so not to alarm the awaiting girls all hanging in the front yard wondering what had happened to make us get upset. Eventually, I dried both of our eyes and told Madison its good to have a good cry every now and then....Its good for the soul. <br />Madison went out side and made up a story about looking at the old days makes us sad sometimes because of divorce and things...which was a pretty smart answer I may need to watch out for this one!<br /> All in all we live a normal life but every now and then "Transgender life" pokes its head in and reminds us how different our life really is!<br /><br />-<br />The funniest part is even though I have wondered why this has happened. How could this be. Why us, why him, why.... why.... why! If I could ever change it...I don't think I would, this is after all what makes Kennedy...Kennedy and it is what make Kennedy who he is!<br /><br />Thanks for listening<br />MOM to a robust 8 year old FTM transgender child, yet just like any other boy...Kennedy!Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-16484943839146619322011-01-27T08:09:00.000-08:002011-01-28T06:47:32.405-08:00Kennedy SmilesKennedy worries….yet Kennedy Smiles…..<br />Worries about rejection……from friends who find out his “secret”….yet Kennedy Smiles<br />Not being accepted by a girl someday……..yet Kennedy Smiles<br />…...Growing tall like his dad…..yet Kennedy Smiles<br />Not understanding disapproval from some…….yet Kennedy Smiles<br />Wants to be called a “son” by his father and grandparents…..yet Kennedy Smiles<br />What will I look like someday…….yet Kennedy Smiles<br />……..Can I live a normal life….yet Kennedy Smiles<br />Will I grow muscles and hair like a boy…… yet Kennedy Smiles<br />Do I have to grow boobs….yet Kennedy Smiles<br />……..Will I be accepted as a boy....as a person…….yet Kennedy Smiles<br />My Kennedy Worries…...I...Worry…...Please help...spread awareness and acceptance!<br />Life isn’t always fair…..This is our cross to bare….This is his lot in life…..This is my pain… for my Joy…<br />Love is what keeps us strong…and through it all Kennedy Smiles!<br />MOM…Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-84787878148885137552010-12-07T09:17:00.000-08:002011-01-28T14:26:22.961-08:00Just for the record!I wanted to make one post dedicated to the myth...That I just let my child become what he wanted. Let me quote what I have heard many people say. "My child wanted to be a dog for a while you don't see me letting him live as dog, be a parent and take control"<br />OK<br />My child wanted to be a dog too...believe it or not he wanted to eat out of a bowl on the floor. It lasted a little while, then he wanted to be something else! I believe it was a cat, superman, a bug, a bird, and a super hero! <br />I understand that kids love to be other things...my children are no different but these things come and go. Kennedy has said he was a boy since he was 2! We didn't "give in" to the thought of letting him transition into being a boy socialy untill he was 6 years old. He was getting to the point were he was upset all the time and out of control at school, acting out in defiance! It wasn't till he was 7 that we had completed his transition pro'nouns and all!<br />My child didn't ask me to be a boy or rather to live as a boy one or two times, or for a few months and I started letting him change ...NO,NO,NO,NO I repeat NO!<br />Kennedy persisted that he must be a boy, live as a boy, have a boys room, clothes, boy name, boy undies, be a brother, a son etc...his whole life!! Not one, Not one single day for over 5 years went by that he didn't bring it up! Pleading with me to let him "be a boy". Pleading with me to believe him. <br /> This isn't a quick decision, an easy decision, but it is one that I stand behind and I'm proud of!! Im glad that Im not so narrow minded that I ignore my child! That I would be to over wellmed with the way things "should be" to over look the pain my child was feeling! Im so glad I have the mind set to help... and "live and let live" way of thinking. So my little boy can be happy each and everyday during his precious child hood! Isn't that important for any littleone? To have a good feeling in their heart during childhood? Would you rather I let my child live depressed, unhappy, withdrawn, embarassed... Really?? Many parents who follow their hearts, will be able to tell when what needs to be done, should be done! Others may find their unhappy child hanging in their closet someday...because they wern't accepted! Think about it!Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-75437062668454673022010-12-07T08:20:00.000-08:002010-12-07T08:35:52.559-08:00Does Santa Know??So Kennedy wrote Santa a letter like many kids his age do. All about what he wants for Christmas but Kennedy also added that he "thanks him a lot for all his hard work" He also added at the bottom love Kennedy....a boy! <br />I guess he wanted to make sure Santa knew he was a boy, I asked him about that and he said "well I just want to make sure he doesn't have me down on his list as a girl....I would get a bunch of stuff I don't want" I told him OK, sounds like a good idea Sweets. I'm glad he was thankful for all of Santa's services..hehe and it brings to light how he worries about being mistaken for a girl.<br />About a month ago Kennedy came to me and said "mom I'm afraid of finding a wife someday" I asked why and he said "because when she finds out how I'm not like a regular boy and stuff she will say eeewww and your gross and get away from me" I let him know that someone will love him just as much as I do someday. He said "are you sure..." I reassured him that he will be loved and accepted as he is and that it will be okay...I just hope I'm right!!<br />One more thing he also told me when I asked what kind of wife do you think you want sweety he said "a really hot one, pretty you know, and one that is respectful, she will help someone out if they are hurt or needs help" Okay that is that a great kid or what!! And no he pronunced respectful, repectacle...lol I love him so much!<br />Thanks for listening!Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-48307590053697422832010-07-05T10:51:00.000-07:002011-05-07T19:44:48.531-07:00HOW DO I KNOW MY CHILD IS TRANSGENDER??This article (posted at bottom) is important to me so copy and past link below to read it. First it explains to people about transgender and how it is different than just a phase or a tomboy personality. Transgender goes way deeper than liking boy things or girl things it goes way deep to the true since of self and emotional well being.<br /><br />Use this article to educate your self and if it may help you understand transgender community. If you read this and think you may have or be a transgender than please explore that and get as much info as you can to protect yourself or your child. I'm not saying all people who like other sex things are transgender. By no means is that true, transgendered people have a way deeper emotional since of the opposite sex and they are not comfortable being the sex they were born as, that is one main difference. Please use this article to learn and accept others and understand the Transgender world. <br /><br />If you ever need more info please feel free to contact me by leaving a message for a private email I will be willing to help. If it is questions about yourself or your child....all is welcome.<br /><br />For my controversy..(all the people that say, your doing the wrong thing you simply have a tomboy)....<br />Believe me I know there are tomboys...I have met many in my life and understand that they love all things that are boy. But being a transgender is totally different these children truly believe deep with in their selves that they are a boy or a girl. They feel as though they are trapped in the wrong body. This is not typical when it comes to a tomboy. Tomboys know they are female, and like that about them selves. Although they are more interested in masculine interest, it it stops there and that is a "tomboy". A trans child feels uncomfortable as being identified as female (or vice verse), and they get emotionally depressed to live as one. <br />OK now I'm going to give you some examples of the comments I have heard or received and my responses to them.<br /><br />Comment:<br />"I loved boy stuff or I know someone who wanted to be a boy her whole life now she is a beautifull women married with children"<br /><br />My Response to this:<br />Great, I'm glad that your situation was handled with care and you or the person you know developed into what they wanted. I want the same for my child, if Kennedy continues down this path....fine, if he changes coarse....that is fine too. I let him know all the time he is free to be a girl or accept himself as being a girl.<br /> I didn't want him to be a boy or a girl, I want him to like him self and love his life as feels it should be. Kennedy may change some day, who knows?? What harm is there in letting your child feel happy about himself? Verse hating everything they see in the mirror or hating what people refer to him as. Kennedy hated looking like a female everyday he wined to me to change his clothes...shoes...hair...and undies. He said "mommy please believe me... I'm a boy...please mommy...I want you to believe me, please believe me". Kennedy didn't understand why everyone thought he was a girl, he didn't see what they saw. He saw him self as a boy and I had to explain to him why he wasn't one, he said that one part of body that GOD forgot makes me a girl. <br />How many tomboys say thing like that?? Come on people some children are tomboys some are transgender...please read more about it before you pass your judgement, at least make an attempt to make an educated response!<br /><br /><br />Comment:<br />Your making him believe he is a boy or your letting him be something he isn't and you should teach him or make him stop all this nonsense!<br /><br />My Response:<br />Ever heard of feeling happy with who you are?? Well my child feels that who he really is....is a boy. I have no right as a parent or another human being to tell someone else who they truly are or how they should feel. I am not in Kennedy's head or in his mind, heart, thoughts of self. I don't know for sure how he really feels so why would I make him conform if I don't even know how that makes him feel inside about himself. He is the only one who knows how he /she feels and not I nor any of you do. I don't think it is right to "make" other people conform to what I say they are. It is a big part of who you are..of your own identity to be called male or female....boy or girl.....man or women, this isn't as easy as telling your child NO to a hair cut or type of dress or shoe choice's, those things are small things that a parent can govern, but how do you govern someones sole since of self? Their identity? Kennedy will always be free to make his own decesions if that means live as a male for the rest of his life, fine if that means accepting that he is female...fine too... it his life, not mine! I'm hear to love him, nuture him, guide him and make sure he loves his life and his self!!<br /><br />The bottom line is I want my child to be happy......and guess what <br />I know that my child is happy. If he is happy he will have a good childhood. He will be able to accept himself, feel secure. If he were to live with this as a girl he would still be that angry child who didn't like themself. Anyone who truely knows my child agrees he is way happier and has blossomed into a very confident child...how is that a bad thing? <br /> Please do your research, please..... take time to understand diffrent conditions.... take time to open your heart to things you don't understand..... take time to love people just they way they are. <br /><br /><br /><br />http://www.socialwo rkblog.org/ helpstartshere/ index.php/ 2008/05/30/ how-do-i- know-if-my- child-is- transgender/Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-43249767017405111382010-04-03T18:32:00.000-07:002010-07-18T15:44:38.696-07:00Please......NO BOOBS MOM!!Kennedy's older sister is 11 and is starting to grow her boobs. I know very normal and for her very exciting they can't get here fast enough. Kennedy was listening to Madison talk about her new aditions budding, and came running up to me at night while I'm watching the eveining news..."mommy am I going to get boobs too?" <br /> "Well Ken Ken you do have a female body" before I could say much more he started whaleing..."NO...No I cant mom this is not good, I dont want them, I will chop them off...I will hide them .....I will hate them, no mommy I dont want them" <br />I paused and wasnt sure if I should tell him about the blockers he could take to prevent these Boobs from coming. I wasnt sure being 7 if he was old enough for this discusion., although he was the one freaking out and already telling me that this can't happen and how he will feel about it, so I desided to inform him about blockers. I didn't go into to much detail I just said "Kennedy if you dont want to grow boobs you don't have too, Mommy can get you a medicine to stop them from growing."<br /> You should have seen his face happy as a bug!! "Really, I dont have too, then give me the medicine I need it now!!" I told Kennedy he didn't need the medicine now but when the time came and he still felt the same way that I will give him the medicine to stop the boobs. He was so happy he grabed me and started kisses and huggs saying "thank you, thank you , thank you mommy I feel better just make sure you give me the medicine don't forget". I reassured him I would if he wants it when the time is right and that he is too young right now...he need not to worry any more.<br /><br />Funniest part of all of this whole story he turned to me and said " ok, but do they have a pill to grow a penis??"<br />I was shocked and held back my laughs because it was a funny thought....out of the mouths of babes!! I then told him "no honey their isnt a medicine for that".Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-48288897323181115422010-03-08T10:39:00.000-08:002011-01-28T14:12:36.398-08:00New School, New Start, Same loving boy ready to Blossom!!<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_F0fzxvT8-4M/S5VMvt4AAzI/AAAAAAAAABw/qCuFIz4Vfdg/s1600-h/flowers_blooming.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_F0fzxvT8-4M/S5VMvt4AAzI/AAAAAAAAABw/qCuFIz4Vfdg/s320/flowers_blooming.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446343707026522930" /></a><br /><br /><br />Just wanted to update about our new venture!<br />Kennedy started a new school about two weeks ago. We moved to another part of town and decided to have Kennedy introduced and be known as a boy at the new school. I feel that being a "normal" boy will give Kennedy a chance to blossom even more, no more "what are you?...or, why do you dress like a boy?"...and the one Kennedy hates the most "are you a boy or a girl" questions. Kennedy has always wanted to be just a regular boy in school and doesn't want to be asked every single day why and what are you! Who would?? Anyway we started at this new school and only the staff know that Kennedy is transgender, so far so good. Kennedy is happy and is accepted as a regular boy. He has made lots of friends and no longer gets questioned every single day about what or who he is. Doesn't all mothers want a normal life for their child? I know I want my little one to feel safe and happy at home, school or anywhere he is. <br />To anyone who wonders If I am deceiving other parents....not at all it is no business what private part my little one has, he doesn't have to disclose something so personal. I don't plan on letting Kennedy spend the night or vice verse unless the parent is made aware that Kennedy is transgender. WHY?? I'm not planning on a whole lot of issues or rather praying they don't happen, although I do feel that if Kennedy wants a friend sleep over or vice verse then he is getting really close to that child and wants to have a close friendship. If I feel that it is a safe environment and I can trust the parents, I may disclose Kennedy's condition, if I don't I won't and will not let the cat of the bag...per say! <br />I am by no means ashamed of Kennedy or him being transgender, but the masses of people in this world are driven by hate and prejudice and I wont let my child have a large target on his back...nor will I let him be ashamed either!!<br /><br />I think there can be a balance in life, and as Kennedy gets older I will let him make up his mind how many "know" about him being trans. Although my job right now is to protect him and that is all I am doing. Kennedy is happy as a bug at school and says he has lots of friends! No surprise Kennedy is quite a hoot!!Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-8391613149216435912010-01-11T19:48:00.000-08:002010-01-11T20:00:52.258-08:00Tyra Banks Show AiringKennedy and I, and our whole Family traveled to New York to film the Tyra Banks Show about transgender children, it airs....January 27th @ 4pm east and 3pm central time. We all had a blast and got to see New York for the first time!! Madison my oldest hailed her first cab...although we didn't need one soo that was awkward! We all had a great time and filmed a show to tell people about transgender people and children. Kennedy was so proud and so cute...he had a crush on Tyra, kept saying she was beautiful! I was proud of him he was so brave.<br />Hope you all can tune in.<br /><br />Thanks, CandiceCandicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-84965194851442157012010-01-05T13:39:00.000-08:002010-01-05T14:01:29.322-08:00Embarrassed to go Potty!Everyone knows what it feels like to be embarrassed, right? <br />We have all felt that way once or twice in our life and for me....many times. Although can you imagine being embarrassed about using the restroom? Kennedy brought a friend to dinner with us, he needed to use the restroom so he went off to the bathroom. His friend also had to go so he followed right behind him. Kennedy came running back from the restroom, "mommy I don't want Jonathan to see me go to the girls potty..." I said OK"are you wanting to use the boys?" he said "no then he will see me go in the stall and I am embarrassed about that". Not wanting to go in either bathroom he waited for Jonathan to return and then sped off to the restroom holding him self cause he had to wait. I feel for my child each and every day. He has to experience life a whole different way and have usual situations become an embarrassing one. It is going to be a long road for my little one.<br /><br />I know it may seem like no big deal to have to wait, but this is just one example of our life struggles. Nothing is just "normal". Although Kennedy has to face more than others in his every day life, he is also very happy and willing to smile everyday...I just hope that continues.<br /><br />I know that there is no one to blame for these discomforts but if we all try to educate, show passion and understanding we can limit the amount of discomfort along the way.<br /><br />Thanks for listening!Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-49199088421096105382009-12-15T22:06:00.000-08:002009-12-15T22:18:50.093-08:00Eye Opener!I posted a short version of my life thus far and believe me, it would taken days to read the full version. I wanted to post some videos that helped me years ago. These videos are of a 20/20 special and you can't imagine how I felt when I saw another mom going through what I was. A child that says they are the opposite sex than they are born. I was very intrigued. At that time Kennedy was much younger. When I first saw them I never imagined doing any transitioning like they did at all. But time takes you down a very winding road...you never really know what is around the corner...or so I have learned. Please take time to watch these videos if your interested in learning more about transgender children, people etc. It gave me a lot to consider and I'm glad it opened my eyes and heart to hear my little ones voice.Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317928323249589917.post-76037705777226496532009-12-14T14:15:00.000-08:002013-01-26T10:13:06.158-08:00Meet KennedyI was so Happy pregnant with my second child, and its another little girl!! I was ecstatic I was having so much fun raising my first daughter Madison. I knew I was ready to have bigger family, to put all my old dress's from my oldest daughter on my new little girl. Like many mothers and fathers I wanted a healthy baby and when I counted 10 fingers and ten toes all the signs of a perfectly healthy little girl, and also just as beautiful as I expected.<br /><br />Kennedy grew into a beautiful little girl, by two years she played with her sister but any chance she got to visit friends house's she played with the boys toys and really got into playing more so than I ever saw her do at home. Kennedy liked "boys toys" no biggy really. I bought her a few cars and dump trucks (I let her pick out some things). I knew she never liked to play much with Madison's toys but figured that was just not her thing, but once I saw her go buck crazy with the boys things. I realized I had a "tomboy" and wanted to get things she was more interested in.<br /><br />Later Kennedy stopped wanting to wear her clothes she kept saying "I hate this" she was also stealing clothes from cubbies at day care, she took boys "extra" clothes from their cubbies and put it in her spider man backpack. When I saw that I realized what the dressing fits at home where all about. She didn't like her "girly" clothes. I needed to get more primary colored clothes or more sporty stuff. My mom agreed, after many mornings getting kicked in the stomach because she hated her clothes. I could just take her shopping to get her clothes she liked...she was after all 3 years old now. I should let her pick out her own clothes. I went to our local shopping mart and told Kennedy we were going to get her some new clothes she will like cause Mommy is going to let her pick them out...she clapped all the way there. I sat her down out of the basket and she looked around, she didn't like anything. We kept looking and all of a sudden she darts across the isle to...the boys section and said mommy over here I want these clothes. I said no Kennedy those are boys clothes come back over here she said "no mommy I'm like them....I am a boy" <br /><br />All of sudden something that was going on a school really me hit me hard.<br />Kennedy was in the 2 1/2 yr to 3 yr old room at daycare and was refusing to potty train in the girls restroom, she wanted to use the boys potty. How does a little one know which is which? Well there is picture of a girl on the girls door, and a pic of a boy on the boys potty door. Kennedy had been throwing a fit every day at school even biting teachers to get her way.... to stay in the boys line and use the boys potty but the teachers made her use the girls anyway. They thought it was cute and funny unless they where the one getting bit...she likes boys stuff so much she wants to stand in their line just like them too. Well I wasn't going to make such a big deal either. I was aware my child was a tomboy. She played like a boy, only wanted boys toys, rough housed around like a typical "tomboy". I had known of this potty drama at school but never put to much thought into it.<br /><br />When Kennedy said "but Mommy I'm like them....I am a boy" I was dumb founded and concerned.<br /><br />I let Kennedy get just a few things from the boys dept since she was relentless that I told her she was getting clothes she wanted. I wanted something easy for me to bare. I picked out animal print shirts..alligator, monkey, an elephant shirt. It was boys clothes but nothing abnormal for a tomboy to wear. With her flowing Blonde hair she still looked adorable. She also decided weeks later to ask me for dump truck tenie shoes. I was OK with that, I hoped she would keep them on. At school she kept taking her shoes off all the time, so I figured this might help that problem. I let Kennedy get her shoes and made it clear only if you will leave them on...she was so happy1 She never took them off at school again.<br /><br />The potty training issue at school was getting worse. Kennedy had bitten more teachers and was refusing to potty in the girls restroom. She began to just pee all over herself. I went to the directors and explained that I was having similar problems at home and that maybe she could use the boys potty to ensure she uses the potty instead of peeing on herself. They agreed, even though they had never allowed such a thing before it would be better than the alternative of an angry child, bitten teachers and a digressing potty training 3 year old. They allowed Kennedy to use the boys potty at school. She was put at the end of the line and from that point on Kennedy continued to use the boys room all the way up until 6 years. It became pretty normal for everyone at the school. Kennedy was the little girl who acts, looks and thinks she is a boy.<br /><br /><br />Kennedy continued to tell everyone she was a boy, even if you didn't ask. She repeatedly said "I'm not a girl, I'm a boy" to me, everyone she played with or knew. She said "I'm a boy" to the strangers in line at the local grocery store. Which always got a laugh...considering how beautiful she was they all said no sweety your too beautiful, you definitely a girl. She would just keep arguing and stating the same thing "nooo I'm not!!! I AM A BOY" I was getting a little tiered of hearing it. Ever since that day in the store, when we were buying new clothes she proclaimed to be a boy, it has never stopped. It only continued and she became more demanding. Kennedy kept telling everyone she was a boy. When they didn't agree with her she would cry and cry "Mommy I am a boy I am... tell them I am a boy." <br />I would try to explain she was a girl that likes boy stuff, she said "no I'm not Mommy I'm just a boy"<br /><br />Its been quite a while since those early days or biting and potty training. Kennedy still refuses to believe she is girl at all. She continues to believe in her conviction that she is a boy. She tells me that GOD gave her the wrong body. This may seem strange to you, it was just as strange to me years ago. No judgement for thinking it seems strange, it is a lot to grasp believe me!! I have been living this for a while so it is a lot easier now. I used to cry till my eyes were swollen shut. I cry a lot less now. Although I do have my break downs, I accept Kennedy as a boy and realize this condition exists. My child is faced with Gender Identity disorder also known as GID or Transgender.<br /><br />Transgender is being the biological one gender but feeling the opposite gender in the brain. These children are diagnosed by psychologist. They are evaluated by many scales and if you meet my child you would see a regular typical boy...boy! Don't think that I think or any other parent of a transgender child feels that all tomboys are trans... many tomboys are just that a tomboy. They are girls who like boy stuff and or more masculine things. My child actually thinks she is a boy. That is one of the biggest differences. Another difference is just Kennedy's normal actions or responses. Kennedy acts like a typical boy, something you have to see to understand. The way he eats a chicken nugget or sits in a chair, the way he walks talks and acts around other boys or even...girls, he is in whole just a boy.<br /><br />I finally came to terms with this diagnosis. I had to stop wishing it away, because it didn't work. I had to stop praying it would change, cause that never happened. I had to realize that even though I wanted my little girl to just be a "little girl" who just like boyish things, that wasn't it. I had to accept Kennedy wasn't going to let me raise her as a girl. She wasn't going to let me call her my daughter, a girl or any other girl pronoun. Kennedy wasn't a she at all...sure she has a female body, but that is all, her brain is all boy. On the inside Kennedy is a typical boy. Once I was able to let go of my daughter that never developed into a little girl, I embraced my little boy. The little boy that was there all along. Under those beautiful eyes and flowing blonde hair, beautiful clothes and sandals...I had my little Kennedy.....A handsome, vibrant, headstrong, strong willed, silly and rambunctious little boy.<br /><br />And I let my SHE become the HE...he always was.<br />I no longer use any girl pronouns or any female words to describe my child It does help to tell his story and let you understand this transition using the pronoun that fit him at that time. <br /><br />Thanks for listening!<br />Candice <br />Mom to my Kennedy now (7 years old) a transgender little boy that needs acceptance and understanding.Candicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11767381904731267505noreply@blogger.com15