Please don't forget to read my first post "MEET KENNEDY" it will give you his story from the begining , It's where you get a glimpse of how we both got to this point in our lives. To a transitioned child...... and as a mother to my daughter to a mother to my son. From an upset misunderstood child to a happy robust boy ready to embrace the world!!

Thank you

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Just for the record!

I wanted to make one post dedicated to the myth...That I just let my child become what he wanted. Let me quote what I have heard many people say. "My child wanted to be a dog for a while you don't see me letting him live as dog, be a parent and take control"
My child wanted to be a dog too...believe it or not he wanted to eat out of a bowl on the floor. It lasted a little while, then he wanted to be something else! I believe it was a cat, superman, a bug, a bird, and a super hero!
I understand that kids love to be other children are no different but these things come and go. Kennedy has said he was a boy since he was 2! We didn't "give in" to the thought of letting him transition into being a boy socialy untill he was 6 years old. He was getting to the point were he was upset all the time and out of control at school, acting out in defiance! It wasn't till he was 7 that we had completed his transition pro'nouns and all!
My child didn't ask me to be a boy or rather to live as a boy one or two times, or for a few months and I started letting him change ...NO,NO,NO,NO I repeat NO!
Kennedy persisted that he must be a boy, live as a boy, have a boys room, clothes, boy name, boy undies, be a brother, a son etc...his whole life!! Not one, Not one single day for over 5 years went by that he didn't bring it up! Pleading with me to let him "be a boy". Pleading with me to believe him.
This isn't a quick decision, an easy decision, but it is one that I stand behind and I'm proud of!! Im glad that Im not so narrow minded that I ignore my child! That I would be to over wellmed with the way things "should be" to over look the pain my child was feeling! Im so glad I have the mind set to help... and "live and let live" way of thinking. So my little boy can be happy each and everyday during his precious child hood! Isn't that important for any littleone? To have a good feeling in their heart during childhood? Would you rather I let my child live depressed, unhappy, withdrawn, embarassed... Really?? Many parents who follow their hearts, will be able to tell when what needs to be done, should be done! Others may find their unhappy child hanging in their closet someday...because they wern't accepted! Think about it!


  1. I loved reading this post and I'm so happy to hear that Kennedy is doing well. More parents should be as understanding and supportive of their children- the world would be a much happier place if that were the case. You are a great mom! Thank you for putting your child's happiness and health first.

  2. I admire you 100% big cyberhug from me. My son is now my daughter,but I had no idea till age boy was a typical boy til about age 10,then became grumpy and a loner for the next 8.not enough to be worried i thought.At about 18 things got a little hinky when he had a goth girlfriend,and then he came out. 18 months transitioning and I have a happy has more problems for her now,but she is happy to deal with it all as her true self.

  3. I also have a FTM son. He is 14 now, and also was adamant at the age of four that HE was a boy. Keep up the good work, you are doing what's best for your son.

  4. Thank you so much Tammy and Jim, Iwasntbloggedyesterday, Jesse...
    I really appreciate all the support, I love my child and it has been a long road to get where I am today...I think for both of us! It is hard but at the same time I wonder If someone said I could wave a magic wond and make it all go away...that I wouldn't cause all in all this is what makes Kennedy...Kennedy and I wouldn't risk changeing him for anything...Just a thought!

    Love Candice

  5. ((HUGS)) It's amazing how many people have that frame of mind. That this is somehow a choice. The only choice that's being made is that you're CHOOSING to support your child and see them for who they are. You're CHOOSING to listen to them. You're letting them be . . . them.

    You're not letting them have ice cream for dinner and stay home from school because they want to watch tv all day long. You're still the parent. You're simply a supportive parent.

    My mtf daughter has been adamant about who she is since she was 2. She's 5 now and we've decided to let her transition completely and enter the school system as she is. It took 3 years for us to grasp exactly what she was telling us, but we're doing all we can to make sure all of our children are happy & healthy. That's the most important thing, and you're doing it.

    When someone questions me and they just aren't quite getting it, I simply tell them that I'd rather have a living daughter than a dead son. It's harsh, but that's the reality of it, and some people just need to hear that.

    Good for you! You have a beautiful family and you're all very lucky to have one another. It's blogs like yours that really help in this journey of raising a child that falls outside of the gender "norms". Thank you.

  6. Just for the record - you are a brave and wonderful person for supporting your child no matter what. It seems you didn't know anything about the issue beforehand but you went ahead anyway and listened to your child, and trusted him, and put love and his well-being before everything, as all parents should.

    If you haven't already checked them out, I really recommend some great books for transgender children, including the most famous "The Transgender Child" which has lots of concrete ideas on managing transition.

    I wish you and your family all the best.

  7. I applaud you and your families ability to recognize that Kennedy knows who and what he is. We are going through the same thing with my 20 year old. I wish I had understood then, what I know now. We almost lost him to suicide and depression. He is so happy now. It is so wonderful that you discovered early on and your son has the ability to become who he was meant to be, without having to suffer for so long, trying to figure out why people see me as the wrong gender. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Annette

  8. Thanks so much Annette, and I applaud you for your courage as well! I know it is hard for some people to understand, heck it was hard for me what age you go through this there is a lot of emotions that are evolved! It must be hard to have made the change so much later in life as well, I only had a daughter (or so I thought) for 6 years and I grieved over her, so I can't imagine 20 years!! Your a great mother and I'm glad we all can be here for support!



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