Thank You!!

To all of the recent comments and people who care about my child. I want you all to know that it means the world to me that you take the time to read my blog. Many of you care for my little Kennedy so much. It feels so good to know a world filled with people like you. I know it will always be hard for many to understand...heck it was for me too! I know his road may be an up hill battle, but I know its one worth climbing!! The song that I posted on my blog "The Climb" it reminds me of Kennedys climb to become who he is. How there will always be another mountain...but he will over come each one. With loving support from me my husband his sister as well as all of you out there who care! Thank you so much! I only hope the world becomes a little more accepting of differences...to each there own I always say!
May Kennedy grow up to be a happy person...a happy Man!

Candice

A Picture Book Moment

So my oldest daughter, Madison had a sleep over with 6 girls all 12 years...GOD help me Right? Madison decided she wanted to go through an old photo album with her friends to show all her cute little pictures of the younger years. As soon as she got it out she realized when all the girls pointed to an old picture of Kennedy about 2 years old at the time and said "wow you looked like Kennedy when you were young!" I got up and and took hold of the book, squeezed into the middle of the crowd and said "hold on let me show you the book and tell you some stories". I honestly just need to keep Kennedy's true identity a secret. I know that it isn't time to out him quit yet. The pictures were going to show Kennedy at older ages. This would have defiantly made it clear that it wasn't Madison in these pictures, just Kennedy with long hair! Madison really wanted to show all her pictures and was upset that she had to hide so many pages. We only showed the ones that her by herself or her and me and luckily I had a few dedicated to just her alone. We were able to share the album and put it away. As I did this Madison and I looked at one another and burst into tears. I know it was the emotion of not being able to share her life, having a life that has restrictions. First thing she said when we left to go to the other room was, "Mom, I know I shouldn't cry, Kennedy has it a lot worse than me... about secrets...I have no reason to feel this". I immediately held her (crying myself) at let her know that it does hurt sometimes. It hurts to hide from the world. It hurts to hide Kennedy and who he is. It hurts to hide our loving family. Madison wanted to go out and tell all the girls why she was upset and the truth about Kennedy. I let her know the repercussions of doing that. Possibly Loosing all her friends, not because THEY don't understand but because their PARENTS might not! I also let her know its not time for Kennedy, he is still so young. I would like him to be much older before we let the new school know. He has to be old enough to understand any back lash he may receive. It hard to think of that. How old is old enough to understand a concept like that? Really?? I am still not sure if we will ever come out. We may live stealth for the rest of his school life and only be out to close friends and family like we are now. That decision is still undecided.
We held one another and had a cry, a short one so not to alarm the awaiting girls all hanging in the front yard wondering what had happened to make us get upset. Eventually, I dried both of our eyes and told Madison its good to have a good cry every now and then....Its good for the soul.
Madison went out side and made up a story about looking at the old days makes us sad sometimes because of divorce and things...which was a pretty smart answer I may need to watch out for this one!
All in all we live a normal life but every now and then "Transgender life" pokes its head in and reminds us how different our life really is!

-
The funniest part is even though I have wondered why this has happened. How could this be. Why us, why him, why.... why.... why! If I could ever change it...I don't think I would, this is after all what makes Kennedy...Kennedy and it is what make Kennedy who he is!

Thanks for listening
MOM to a robust 8 year old FTM transgender child, yet just like any other boy...Kennedy!

Kennedy Smiles

Kennedy worries….yet Kennedy Smiles…..
Worries about rejection……from friends who find out his “secret”….yet Kennedy Smiles
Not being accepted by a girl someday……..yet Kennedy Smiles
…...Growing tall like his dad…..yet Kennedy Smiles
Not understanding disapproval from some…….yet Kennedy Smiles
Wants to be called a “son” by his father and grandparents…..yet Kennedy Smiles
What will I look like someday…….yet Kennedy Smiles
……..Can I live a normal life….yet Kennedy Smiles
Will I grow muscles and hair like a boy…… yet Kennedy Smiles
Do I have to grow boobs….yet Kennedy Smiles
……..Will I be accepted as a boy....as a person…….yet Kennedy Smiles
My Kennedy Worries…...I...Worry…...Please help...spread awareness and acceptance!
Life isn’t always fair…..This is our cross to bare….This is his lot in life…..This is my pain… for my Joy…
Love is what keeps us strong…and through it all Kennedy Smiles!
MOM…

Just for the record!

I wanted to make one post dedicated to the myth...That I just let my child become what he wanted. Let me quote what I have heard many people say. "My child wanted to be a dog for a while you don't see me letting him live as dog, be a parent and take control"
OK
My child wanted to be a dog too...believe it or not he wanted to eat out of a bowl on the floor. It lasted a little while, then he wanted to be something else! I believe it was a cat, superman, a bug, a bird, and a super hero!
I understand that kids love to be other things...my children are no different but these things come and go. Kennedy has said he was a boy since he was 2! We didn't "give in" to the thought of letting him transition into being a boy socialy untill he was 6 years old. He was getting to the point were he was upset all the time and out of control at school, acting out in defiance! It wasn't till he was 7 that we had completed his transition pro'nouns and all!
My child didn't ask me to be a boy or rather to live as a boy one or two times, or for a few months and I started letting him change ...NO,NO,NO,NO I repeat NO!
Kennedy persisted that he must be a boy, live as a boy, have a boys room, clothes, boy name, boy undies, be a brother, a son etc...his whole life!! Not one, Not one single day for over 5 years went by that he didn't bring it up! Pleading with me to let him "be a boy". Pleading with me to believe him.
This isn't a quick decision, an easy decision, but it is one that I stand behind and I'm proud of!! Im glad that Im not so narrow minded that I ignore my child! That I would be to over wellmed with the way things "should be" to over look the pain my child was feeling! Im so glad I have the mind set to help... and "live and let live" way of thinking. So my little boy can be happy each and everyday during his precious child hood! Isn't that important for any littleone? To have a good feeling in their heart during childhood? Would you rather I let my child live depressed, unhappy, withdrawn, embarassed... Really?? Many parents who follow their hearts, will be able to tell when what needs to be done, should be done! Others may find their unhappy child hanging in their closet someday...because they wern't accepted! Think about it!

Does Santa Know??

So Kennedy wrote Santa a letter like many kids his age do. All about what he wants for Christmas but Kennedy also added that he "thanks him a lot for all his hard work" He also added at the bottom love Kennedy....a boy!
I guess he wanted to make sure Santa knew he was a boy, I asked him about that and he said "well I just want to make sure he doesn't have me down on his list as a girl....I would get a bunch of stuff I don't want" I told him OK, sounds like a good idea Sweets. I'm glad he was thankful for all of Santa's services..hehe and it brings to light how he worries about being mistaken for a girl.
About a month ago Kennedy came to me and said "mom I'm afraid of finding a wife someday" I asked why and he said "because when she finds out how I'm not like a regular boy and stuff she will say eeewww and your gross and get away from me" I let him know that someone will love him just as much as I do someday. He said "are you sure..." I reassured him that he will be loved and accepted as he is and that it will be okay...I just hope I'm right!!
One more thing he also told me when I asked what kind of wife do you think you want sweety he said "a really hot one, pretty you know, and one that is respectful, she will help someone out if they are hurt or needs help" Okay that is that a great kid or what!! And no he pronunced respectful, repectacle...lol I love him so much!
Thanks for listening!

HOW DO I KNOW MY CHILD IS TRANSGENDER??

This article (posted at bottom) is important to me so copy and past link below to read it. First it explains to people about transgender and how it is different than just a phase or a tomboy personality. Transgender goes way deeper than liking boy things or girl things it goes way deep to the true since of self and emotional well being.

Use this article to educate your self and if it may help you understand transgender community. If you read this and think you may have or be a transgender than please explore that and get as much info as you can to protect yourself or your child. I'm not saying all people who like other sex things are transgender. By no means is that true, transgendered people have a way deeper emotional since of the opposite sex and they are not comfortable being the sex they were born as, that is one main difference. Please use this article to learn and accept others and understand the Transgender world.

If you ever need more info please feel free to contact me by leaving a message for a private email I will be willing to help. If it is questions about yourself or your child....all is welcome.

For my controversy..(all the people that say, your doing the wrong thing you simply have a tomboy)....
Believe me I know there are tomboys...I have met many in my life and understand that they love all things that are boy. But being a transgender is totally different these children truly believe deep with in their selves that they are a boy or a girl. They feel as though they are trapped in the wrong body. This is not typical when it comes to a tomboy. Tomboys know they are female, and like that about them selves. Although they are more interested in masculine interest, it it stops there and that is a "tomboy". A trans child feels uncomfortable as being identified as female (or vice verse), and they get emotionally depressed to live as one.
OK now I'm going to give you some examples of the comments I have heard or received and my responses to them.

Comment:
"I loved boy stuff or I know someone who wanted to be a boy her whole life now she is a beautifull women married with children"

My Response to this:
Great, I'm glad that your situation was handled with care and you or the person you know developed into what they wanted. I want the same for my child, if Kennedy continues down this path....fine, if he changes coarse....that is fine too. I let him know all the time he is free to be a girl or accept himself as being a girl.
I didn't want him to be a boy or a girl, I want him to like him self and love his life as feels it should be. Kennedy may change some day, who knows?? What harm is there in letting your child feel happy about himself? Verse hating everything they see in the mirror or hating what people refer to him as. Kennedy hated looking like a female everyday he wined to me to change his clothes...shoes...hair...and undies. He said "mommy please believe me... I'm a boy...please mommy...I want you to believe me, please believe me". Kennedy didn't understand why everyone thought he was a girl, he didn't see what they saw. He saw him self as a boy and I had to explain to him why he wasn't one, he said that one part of body that GOD forgot makes me a girl.
How many tomboys say thing like that?? Come on people some children are tomboys some are transgender...please read more about it before you pass your judgement, at least make an attempt to make an educated response!


Comment:
Your making him believe he is a boy or your letting him be something he isn't and you should teach him or make him stop all this nonsense!

My Response:
Ever heard of feeling happy with who you are?? Well my child feels that who he really is....is a boy. I have no right as a parent or another human being to tell someone else who they truly are or how they should feel. I am not in Kennedy's head or in his mind, heart, thoughts of self. I don't know for sure how he really feels so why would I make him conform if I don't even know how that makes him feel inside about himself. He is the only one who knows how he /she feels and not I nor any of you do. I don't think it is right to "make" other people conform to what I say they are. It is a big part of who you are..of your own identity to be called male or female....boy or girl.....man or women, this isn't as easy as telling your child NO to a hair cut or type of dress or shoe choice's, those things are small things that a parent can govern, but how do you govern someones sole since of self? Their identity? Kennedy will always be free to make his own decesions if that means live as a male for the rest of his life, fine if that means accepting that he is female...fine too... it his life, not mine! I'm hear to love him, nuture him, guide him and make sure he loves his life and his self!!

The bottom line is I want my child to be happy......and guess what
I know that my child is happy. If he is happy he will have a good childhood. He will be able to accept himself, feel secure. If he were to live with this as a girl he would still be that angry child who didn't like themself. Anyone who truely knows my child agrees he is way happier and has blossomed into a very confident child...how is that a bad thing?
Please do your research, please..... take time to understand diffrent conditions.... take time to open your heart to things you don't understand..... take time to love people just they way they are.



http://www.socialwo rkblog.org/ helpstartshere/ index.php/ 2008/05/30/ how-do-i- know-if-my- child-is- transgender/

Please......NO BOOBS MOM!!

Kennedy's older sister is 11 and is starting to grow her boobs. I know very normal and for her very exciting they can't get here fast enough. Kennedy was listening to Madison talk about her new aditions budding, and came running up to me at night while I'm watching the eveining news..."mommy am I going to get boobs too?"
"Well Ken Ken you do have a female body" before I could say much more he started whaleing..."NO...No I cant mom this is not good, I dont want them, I will chop them off...I will hide them .....I will hate them, no mommy I dont want them"
I paused and wasnt sure if I should tell him about the blockers he could take to prevent these Boobs from coming. I wasnt sure being 7 if he was old enough for this discusion., although he was the one freaking out and already telling me that this can't happen and how he will feel about it, so I desided to inform him about blockers. I didn't go into to much detail I just said "Kennedy if you dont want to grow boobs you don't have too, Mommy can get you a medicine to stop them from growing."
You should have seen his face happy as a bug!! "Really, I dont have too, then give me the medicine I need it now!!" I told Kennedy he didn't need the medicine now but when the time came and he still felt the same way that I will give him the medicine to stop the boobs. He was so happy he grabed me and started kisses and huggs saying "thank you, thank you , thank you mommy I feel better just make sure you give me the medicine don't forget". I reassured him I would if he wants it when the time is right and that he is too young right now...he need not to worry any more.

Funniest part of all of this whole story he turned to me and said " ok, but do they have a pill to grow a penis??"
I was shocked and held back my laughs because it was a funny thought....out of the mouths of babes!! I then told him "no honey their isnt a medicine for that".