To all of the recent comments and people who care about my child. I want you all to know that it means the world to me that you take the time to read my blog. Many of you care for my little Kennedy so much. It feels so good to know a world filled with people like you. I know it will always be hard for many to understand...heck it was for me too! I know his road may be an up hill battle, but I know its one worth climbing!! The song that I posted on my blog "The Climb" it reminds me of Kennedys climb to become who he is. How there will always be another mountain...but he will over come each one. With loving support from me my husband his sister as well as all of you out there who care! Thank you so much! I only hope the world becomes a little more accepting of differences...to each there own I always say!
May Kennedy grow up to be a happy person...a happy Man!
Candice
I have just recently discovered that my 15 year old is transgender. She was always a "tomboy" and never insisted that she was a boy. But also refused to have anything to do with girls clothes or toys. She always played girls sports and was in girl scouts. But she was always just a bit different from the other girls. She came "out" as a lesbian at age 12. Then she sprang the transgender identity on me last December 2011. Now I am learning to use he/him/his and his new chosen name. It is very difficult. Your blogs are very touching and I feel exactly the same. Love the poem about "Kennedy Worries." Thank you for sharing. It helped me a lot. I wish I would have known earlier.
ReplyDeleteI'm here if you ever need any guide cue and thanks so much!
DeleteMothers like you help those of us that are FTM (transgender of any kind) know that we are not alone and that there is hope for us.
ReplyDelete-Alexander (21, FTM)
Thanks so much
DeleteI am so glad to hear this Alex!! I'm here if you or your mother needs someone to talk too!
ReplyDeleteDear Candice,
ReplyDeleteThank you for recognizing your child's needs so early. I'm the mom of a beautiful 17 year old child. They are a-gender. Non-binary. I am trying to use the pronouns they are teaching me, I am trying to learn. They came out to me as "not liking boys" at 15, and recently as non-binary. I think what I want to say is that your gorgeous child might appreciate you not using the term "man", "boy", "he", "him"...but child. My child. Not my "son". I'm struggling with this myself. You say there are many resources out there..but in all honesty the vast majority of them exclude non-binaries. You are either a "boy" trapped in a "girl's" body, or vice versa. I say how about we try to just identify them as human? I mean no disrespect here, and am in awe of you recognizing your child's needs at such an early age. I wish I had! Perhaps I could have helped my child avoid a lot of suffering if I had recognized their needs at your child's age. I applaud you! My question is, why are there so little resources for children/people who wish to be neither "male" nor "female", but just human? Please keep supporting Kennedy..keep listening. I'm seeking out any avenue for help and support in understanding my child, who has fought so hard to identify on their own. My child is awesome, and has much to give this world, in many, many ways. Me? I'm just a mom who is struggling to understand and learn, and support. Thanks for listening...and if you know of any other avenues for me to find support, guidance, and help in my situation, I'd be most grateful! It seems that non-binary people are the most forgotten, and misunderstood. I hope the world changes, and can accept humans as humans...no matter how they see themselves! Thank you for your blog! ~Jill
Jill,
DeleteAll children have their own experience and journey! I know many children feel like they are in between a male and female and some feel a little stronger on one side but still not a firm, boy, girl, feeling inside. Kennedy on the other hand has a extremely strong feeling of being a boy aka male. He didn't come to me once or twice about this, he came to me several times a day and screamed it at times, from a very young age. Now with that being said, not all children are like Kennedy.
Some people are just more masculine girls "tomboy". Some are gender neutral and not necessarily feel like they are a boy or a girl, but lean one way at times. I think as long as you listen to your child's heart you are doing what's best for them!!
Love your baby and follow their lead, listen to their feelings and let them be empowered to be a strong person, no matter what gender that is! I appreciate your comments!
Candice