Please don't forget to read my first post "MEET KENNEDY" it will give you his story from the begining , It's where you get a glimpse of how we both got to this point in our lives. To a transitioned child...... and as a mother to my daughter to a mother to my son. From an upset misunderstood child to a happy robust boy ready to embrace the world!!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
"Mom you know how I have a Girl side and a Boy side!"
So I find a few darling toys at a resale shop for my niece and couldn't help but snatch up these treasures and bring them home. I call up my sis in-law tell her of this find! I found a Barbie train and Barbie plane, they still make them but these were kinda retro and and I was so excited to see they had all the tiny acessories, including the little tray cart that goes down the aisle. I bring home my treasures and set them on the kitchen table, shortly after Kennedy comes home from school. He goes right to the toys and ask "mom, why did ya get these?" I told him I found them at a resale for his cousin. He looked a little disappointed and then asked me if he could talk to me in the garage....(my hubby his step dad was on the couch) he wanted to tell me "something in private" he said as he opened the door. I went into the garage thinking something went wrong at school or that he was upset w Sean, my husband. He told me and I quote "mom, you know how I have a girl side, and a boy side". "Yes" I replied. "Well I think my girl side wants to play with those toys!" I then explained that it was okay for him to play with those toys, and it wasin't uncommon for boys to want to play with "girl type" toys and some times girls like to play with "boy type" toys. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell mommy how you feel and I want you to know this means you.....simply like toys that are fun, girl side / boys side no matter what side you are a kid and you like to pretend that's all! He then went on to inform me that we don't have any Barbies to go in the plane and train and he wouldn't mind if I bought a few.....you know so he can put them in them. "I want boys and girls" I agreed that would make pretending fun! He said well I don't want to keep this stuff in my room because I really don't want anyone to know, I explained that I sometimes want things of mine to be private and that would be just fine! You should have seen his face of pure JOY! He then said that he also "kinda wants a baby so he can play daddy with it". I was a little taken back a bit I must admit, but said sure buddy! He then quickly said "I want to pretend I'm his dad". I let him know he didn't need to explain and he can play with anything he wants, playing with toys doesn't make you a girl, nor does it make you a boy...it simply makes you a child that like to play. This seemed to comfort him and he gave me a hug and thanked me for understanding. Funny thing is, the last thing I want him to think is that he needs to be a boy or to be masculine enough to prove he is one. I don't want him to confuse the way he feels about being male yet wanting to do things that are typical girl behavior. He is free to be a girl if he wants and I actually mentioned that. He quickly corrected me and said "no mom I still want to play the dad part!" I think it is important that we try to unlabel things and I know there is always "gender majorities" and I do understand the boys type / girls type of behavior, although as a parent of any child, trans, gay, straight, etc I encourage you to mesh those boundaries and let your child simply experience life! Let you son play with dolls, let your daughter buy the dump truck!! I asked Kennedy why he want to tell me in private and he said "I don't want Sean knowing I like these toys, that's my man card" he got that from him!! BOYS!!! Thanks for listening! Candice