Just for the record!

I wanted to make one post dedicated to the myth...That I just let my child become what he wanted. Let me quote what I have heard many people say. "My child wanted to be a dog for a while you don't see me letting him live as dog, be a parent and take control"
OK
My child wanted to be a dog too...believe it or not he wanted to eat out of a bowl on the floor. It lasted a little while, then he wanted to be something else! I believe it was a cat, superman, a bug, a bird, and a super hero!
I understand that kids love to be other things...my children are no different but these things come and go. Kennedy has said he was a boy since he was 2! We didn't "give in" to the thought of letting him transition into being a boy socialy untill he was 6 years old. He was getting to the point were he was upset all the time and out of control at school, acting out in defiance! It wasn't till he was 7 that we had completed his transition pro'nouns and all!
My child didn't ask me to be a boy or rather to live as a boy one or two times, or for a few months and I started letting him change ...NO,NO,NO,NO I repeat NO!
Kennedy persisted that he must be a boy, live as a boy, have a boys room, clothes, boy name, boy undies, be a brother, a son etc...his whole life!! Not one, Not one single day for over 5 years went by that he didn't bring it up! Pleading with me to let him "be a boy". Pleading with me to believe him.
This isn't a quick decision, an easy decision, but it is one that I stand behind and I'm proud of!! Im glad that Im not so narrow minded that I ignore my child! That I would be to over wellmed with the way things "should be" to over look the pain my child was feeling! Im so glad I have the mind set to help... and "live and let live" way of thinking. So my little boy can be happy each and everyday during his precious child hood! Isn't that important for any littleone? To have a good feeling in their heart during childhood? Would you rather I let my child live depressed, unhappy, withdrawn, embarassed... Really?? Many parents who follow their hearts, will be able to tell when what needs to be done, should be done! Others may find their unhappy child hanging in their closet someday...because they wern't accepted! Think about it!

Does Santa Know??

So Kennedy wrote Santa a letter like many kids his age do. All about what he wants for Christmas but Kennedy also added that he "thanks him a lot for all his hard work" He also added at the bottom love Kennedy....a boy!
I guess he wanted to make sure Santa knew he was a boy, I asked him about that and he said "well I just want to make sure he doesn't have me down on his list as a girl....I would get a bunch of stuff I don't want" I told him OK, sounds like a good idea Sweets. I'm glad he was thankful for all of Santa's services..hehe and it brings to light how he worries about being mistaken for a girl.
About a month ago Kennedy came to me and said "mom I'm afraid of finding a wife someday" I asked why and he said "because when she finds out how I'm not like a regular boy and stuff she will say eeewww and your gross and get away from me" I let him know that someone will love him just as much as I do someday. He said "are you sure..." I reassured him that he will be loved and accepted as he is and that it will be okay...I just hope I'm right!!
One more thing he also told me when I asked what kind of wife do you think you want sweety he said "a really hot one, pretty you know, and one that is respectful, she will help someone out if they are hurt or needs help" Okay that is that a great kid or what!! And no he pronunced respectful, repectacle...lol I love him so much!
Thanks for listening!

HOW DO I KNOW MY CHILD IS TRANSGENDER??

This article (posted at bottom) is important to me so copy and past link below to read it. First it explains to people about transgender and how it is different than just a phase or a tomboy personality. Transgender goes way deeper than liking boy things or girl things it goes way deep to the true since of self and emotional well being.

Use this article to educate your self and if it may help you understand transgender community. If you read this and think you may have or be a transgender than please explore that and get as much info as you can to protect yourself or your child. I'm not saying all people who like other sex things are transgender. By no means is that true, transgendered people have a way deeper emotional since of the opposite sex and they are not comfortable being the sex they were born as, that is one main difference. Please use this article to learn and accept others and understand the Transgender world.

If you ever need more info please feel free to contact me by leaving a message for a private email I will be willing to help. If it is questions about yourself or your child....all is welcome.

For my controversy..(all the people that say, your doing the wrong thing you simply have a tomboy)....
Believe me I know there are tomboys...I have met many in my life and understand that they love all things that are boy. But being a transgender is totally different these children truly believe deep with in their selves that they are a boy or a girl. They feel as though they are trapped in the wrong body. This is not typical when it comes to a tomboy. Tomboys know they are female, and like that about them selves. Although they are more interested in masculine interest, it it stops there and that is a "tomboy". A trans child feels uncomfortable as being identified as female (or vice verse), and they get emotionally depressed to live as one.
OK now I'm going to give you some examples of the comments I have heard or received and my responses to them.

Comment:
"I loved boy stuff or I know someone who wanted to be a boy her whole life now she is a beautifull women married with children"

My Response to this:
Great, I'm glad that your situation was handled with care and you or the person you know developed into what they wanted. I want the same for my child, if Kennedy continues down this path....fine, if he changes coarse....that is fine too. I let him know all the time he is free to be a girl or accept himself as being a girl.
I didn't want him to be a boy or a girl, I want him to like him self and love his life as feels it should be. Kennedy may change some day, who knows?? What harm is there in letting your child feel happy about himself? Verse hating everything they see in the mirror or hating what people refer to him as. Kennedy hated looking like a female everyday he wined to me to change his clothes...shoes...hair...and undies. He said "mommy please believe me... I'm a boy...please mommy...I want you to believe me, please believe me". Kennedy didn't understand why everyone thought he was a girl, he didn't see what they saw. He saw him self as a boy and I had to explain to him why he wasn't one, he said that one part of body that GOD forgot makes me a girl.
How many tomboys say thing like that?? Come on people some children are tomboys some are transgender...please read more about it before you pass your judgement, at least make an attempt to make an educated response!


Comment:
Your making him believe he is a boy or your letting him be something he isn't and you should teach him or make him stop all this nonsense!

My Response:
Ever heard of feeling happy with who you are?? Well my child feels that who he really is....is a boy. I have no right as a parent or another human being to tell someone else who they truly are or how they should feel. I am not in Kennedy's head or in his mind, heart, thoughts of self. I don't know for sure how he really feels so why would I make him conform if I don't even know how that makes him feel inside about himself. He is the only one who knows how he /she feels and not I nor any of you do. I don't think it is right to "make" other people conform to what I say they are. It is a big part of who you are..of your own identity to be called male or female....boy or girl.....man or women, this isn't as easy as telling your child NO to a hair cut or type of dress or shoe choice's, those things are small things that a parent can govern, but how do you govern someones sole since of self? Their identity? Kennedy will always be free to make his own decesions if that means live as a male for the rest of his life, fine if that means accepting that he is female...fine too... it his life, not mine! I'm hear to love him, nuture him, guide him and make sure he loves his life and his self!!

The bottom line is I want my child to be happy......and guess what
I know that my child is happy. If he is happy he will have a good childhood. He will be able to accept himself, feel secure. If he were to live with this as a girl he would still be that angry child who didn't like themself. Anyone who truely knows my child agrees he is way happier and has blossomed into a very confident child...how is that a bad thing?
Please do your research, please..... take time to understand diffrent conditions.... take time to open your heart to things you don't understand..... take time to love people just they way they are.



http://www.socialwo rkblog.org/ helpstartshere/ index.php/ 2008/05/30/ how-do-i- know-if-my- child-is- transgender/

Please......NO BOOBS MOM!!

Kennedy's older sister is 11 and is starting to grow her boobs. I know very normal and for her very exciting they can't get here fast enough. Kennedy was listening to Madison talk about her new aditions budding, and came running up to me at night while I'm watching the eveining news..."mommy am I going to get boobs too?"
"Well Ken Ken you do have a female body" before I could say much more he started whaleing..."NO...No I cant mom this is not good, I dont want them, I will chop them off...I will hide them .....I will hate them, no mommy I dont want them"
I paused and wasnt sure if I should tell him about the blockers he could take to prevent these Boobs from coming. I wasnt sure being 7 if he was old enough for this discusion., although he was the one freaking out and already telling me that this can't happen and how he will feel about it, so I desided to inform him about blockers. I didn't go into to much detail I just said "Kennedy if you dont want to grow boobs you don't have too, Mommy can get you a medicine to stop them from growing."
You should have seen his face happy as a bug!! "Really, I dont have too, then give me the medicine I need it now!!" I told Kennedy he didn't need the medicine now but when the time came and he still felt the same way that I will give him the medicine to stop the boobs. He was so happy he grabed me and started kisses and huggs saying "thank you, thank you , thank you mommy I feel better just make sure you give me the medicine don't forget". I reassured him I would if he wants it when the time is right and that he is too young right now...he need not to worry any more.

Funniest part of all of this whole story he turned to me and said " ok, but do they have a pill to grow a penis??"
I was shocked and held back my laughs because it was a funny thought....out of the mouths of babes!! I then told him "no honey their isnt a medicine for that".

New School, New Start, Same loving boy ready to Blossom!!

Just wanted to update about our new venture!
Kennedy started a new school about two weeks ago. We moved to another part of town and decided to have Kennedy introduced and be known as a boy at the new school. I feel that being a "normal" boy will give Kennedy a chance to blossom even more, no more "what are you?...or, why do you dress like a boy?"...and the one Kennedy hates the most "are you a boy or a girl" questions. Kennedy has always wanted to be just a regular boy in school and doesn't want to be asked every single day why and what are you! Who would?? Anyway we started at this new school and only the staff know that Kennedy is transgender, so far so good. Kennedy is happy and is accepted as a regular boy. He has made lots of friends and no longer gets questioned every single day about what or who he is. Doesn't all mothers want a normal life for their child? I know I want my little one to feel safe and happy at home, school or anywhere he is.
To anyone who wonders If I am deceiving other parents....not at all it is no business what private part my little one has, he doesn't have to disclose something so personal. I don't plan on letting Kennedy spend the night or vice verse unless the parent is made aware that Kennedy is transgender. WHY?? I'm not planning on a whole lot of issues or rather praying they don't happen, although I do feel that if Kennedy wants a friend sleep over or vice verse then he is getting really close to that child and wants to have a close friendship. If I feel that it is a safe environment and I can trust the parents, I may disclose Kennedy's condition, if I don't I won't and will not let the cat of the bag...per say!
I am by no means ashamed of Kennedy or him being transgender, but the masses of people in this world are driven by hate and prejudice and I wont let my child have a large target on his back...nor will I let him be ashamed either!!

I think there can be a balance in life, and as Kennedy gets older I will let him make up his mind how many "know" about him being trans. Although my job right now is to protect him and that is all I am doing. Kennedy is happy as a bug at school and says he has lots of friends! No surprise Kennedy is quite a hoot!!

Tyra Banks Show Airing

Kennedy and I, and our whole Family traveled to New York to film the Tyra Banks Show about transgender children, it airs....January 27th @ 4pm east and 3pm central time. We all had a blast and got to see New York for the first time!! Madison my oldest hailed her first cab...although we didn't need one soo that was awkward! We all had a great time and filmed a show to tell people about transgender people and children. Kennedy was so proud and so cute...he had a crush on Tyra, kept saying she was beautiful! I was proud of him he was so brave.
Hope you all can tune in.

Thanks, Candice

Embarrassed to go Potty!

Everyone knows what it feels like to be embarrassed, right?
We have all felt that way once or twice in our life and for me....many times. Although can you imagine being embarrassed about using the restroom? Kennedy brought a friend to dinner with us, he needed to use the restroom so he went off to the bathroom. His friend also had to go so he followed right behind him. Kennedy came running back from the restroom, "mommy I don't want Jonathan to see me go to the girls potty..." I said OK"are you wanting to use the boys?" he said "no then he will see me go in the stall and I am embarrassed about that". Not wanting to go in either bathroom he waited for Jonathan to return and then sped off to the restroom holding him self cause he had to wait. I feel for my child each and every day. He has to experience life a whole different way and have usual situations become an embarrassing one. It is going to be a long road for my little one.

I know it may seem like no big deal to have to wait, but this is just one example of our life struggles. Nothing is just "normal". Although Kennedy has to face more than others in his every day life, he is also very happy and willing to smile everyday...I just hope that continues.

I know that there is no one to blame for these discomforts but if we all try to educate, show passion and understanding we can limit the amount of discomfort along the way.

Thanks for listening!